Thursday, April 17, 2008

Friendly Reminder


Just in case any of you forgot, let me remind everyone. Unless you are either a clown or a bear, no self respecting adult should ever, and I repeat, EVER ride a unicycle....ever.

-the management

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

April Fool's Day


I've been hidden aboard a Tajik frigate for the last 5 months and only recently escaped by way of sheer trickery and merciless cunning. I'm slick like that.

With April Fool's Day still here for another hour or so, I just couldn't help myself, I had to post something.

I'm in Detroit today. Dearborn actually, but whatever. This place sucks.

I'd guess that most coastal people probably would think that all rust-belt cities must be the same. Well, just like every short guy can quickly point to a guy shorter than him, I know a bottom of the barrel rust-belt town when I see one. Being in a huge, spread out, depressed, crappy city with the worst roads I have ever seen this side of DaNang (circa '67) makes me long for my provincial, allergy-riddled, economically splintered, racially divided, Ikea-bearing, mid-western town.

See, that's the joke. It's on me! When you're in a place that sucks you dont dream of paradise, you just long for the place that's one notch lessy shitty than where you are. Sucka! (proclaimed while looking at myself in low-budget hotel mirror).

Seacrest, out.