Friends

The area of the country where I live is often called "a great place to raise a family". This is a nice way of saying it is cheap, relatively safe and most of all, it lacks any excitement. What this means for me is that, while I am able to afford a fairly nice house, I have to travel to other cities for any decent clothes shopping. It also means that no one sticks around here for very long, especially if they dont have a family to raise.

Over the years of living here I seem to have had several finite friendships. Being a region where most people that are born here, die here, I am typically drawn to these short term residents as they are likely far more interesting. These tend to be magical folk who have been past the shire and tell tales of cities of gold, forests as tall as buildings and riches beyond your wildest dreams. They come here for new jobs or they'll return briefly for family reasons. They stay a while, then move on to someplace typically more exciting. Places which are apparently not "great places to raise a family".

4 years ago we hired a new designer (I'll call him C) who moved here from Los Angeles with his pregnant wife to work at our growing firm. We didn't get on too well at the beginning as he had a tendency to rub people the wrong way with his brash big city ways. Having worked in other cities and countries with countless different personalities, I was more accustomed, but even with that, C was particularly difficult at times. Howvere, a funny thing happened about 5 months into his stay here. There was a project that we were working on together that required us to make a research trip to South America. He and I both enjoy travel and were excited at the opportunity, though I was still a bit uncertain as to how it would be spending extended periods of time with him out of the office. What happened over the next few weeks as we planned our trip, was that a guy who was once borderline nemesis at work, couldn't have been more different outside of that environment. My wife and I began spending several evenings at his flat planning our adventure all the while growing closer to him, his wife and baby.

With an elaborate itinerary planned, which hit 2 countries, 3 cities and a wonder of the world, over the course of 1 week's time, and we set off on our quest a la Frodo and Sam. We arrived in Santiago, Chile early in the morning on a Sunday, took a taxi to our hotel in a nice section of town, checked in and went off to begin our research. Most of the stores were in fact closed though due to the day. Not that it was Sunday, but that it was Chilean Indepence day. This made for an interesting twist to the experience. There was a grand parade which was particularly amusing as the Chilean military was actually trained and outfitted by the Germans years ago, so they all looked like tiny, swarthy SS. Odd.

Anyway, 2 days there, then off to Lima, Peru which was far worse than we had initially expected. Imagine a bit of Jakarta mixed with a dash or Marrakech, swirled with a splash of Mexico City and there you have it. From there we left for Cuzco, Peru and our selfish sidetrip to Macchu Pichu, which to this day is the most amazing place I have ever been. We ended our trip back in Lima, rushing through Miralflores and the antique shops to export a 100 year old Thai sculpture my mate had fallen in love with.

After a week of eating and drinking (a lot) while immersed in foreign environments researching the shopping habits and packaging in 3rd world latin american counrties, we had become inseparable. We saw mountains of ice and kingdoms of stone. We even saw a dead hobo on a sidewalk. He looked like an old shoe.

We came back to the office changed men. We had seen and done things and bonded in ways that maybe only can happen on the battlefield. This was no normal business trip. You dont see dead hobos on most business trips.

After a few more months, right after his 1 year anniversary at the firm, C announced that he and his family were moving back to California. Many in the office were happy. I was sad. He and his wife and daughter had become more like family to us than friends in a very brief period. And like that, they were gone. It's been 3 years now since they've left and we've managed to maintain regular contact with them, even spending time with them at their home last summer.

This past week I had a call that C was flying into town for a meeting! My wife and I were thrilled to have him stay with us. He arrived on saturday evening a bit under the weather, so we stayed home, cooked and caught up a bit before bed time. The next couple of days were spent talking, introducing him to our new friends (who still consider him "the competition"). He took that all in jest and it was great to have him around, even at half speed due to his cold. He wrapped up his visit today when I drove him to the airport, hugged him goodbye, and with that he left to go back to San Francisco.

What struck me the most was that while I miss him not being nearby, I think I missed him more while he was here. Distance and time make you forget what it's like to interact with someone regularly and when they're suddenly back, you seem to notice the void that they had left more. Friendships like these are in fact more familial than anything and not having much family in this country, I like that. You can tell because you dont have to do anything for entertainment and you can feel its depth when you laugh with them and when you cry with them. I think that's how you know you'll be friends forever.

Since C and his wife left, we've blessed to have had "the replacements" in our lives, but soon they too will leave and begin their own adventure. They're family now too and I know this because I find myself starting to miss them before they've even gone.