Interns

Over the years at my office and previous places of employment I have hired several interns. At the big corporate jobs I've had we didn't expect much from them except to be loyal lackeys, easy prey for pranks and sometimes pretty girls to look at. I've hired stoners and bible bangers alike, all in the name of providing an educational environment for them and some cheap labor (and fun) for me.

I have been head of creative services at a design firm for a number of years now and in this environment, there is no room for jokes when it comes to interns. They need to be focused, motivated and talented beyond their ages. They're still cheap labor, but cheap labor that's actually required to produce.

This being the case, we rarely hire interns anymore as what we need isn't usually easy to find. We've actually had quite a dry spell of a couple of years or so since the last time we had interns. Ironically, we just hired 2 that will be starting in a few weeks. Funny enough, we have grown so much, I have no clue where they will sit nor what computers they will use, but that's another story.

Anyway, if anyone reads this, you'll notice that events of many sorts trigger memories and/or daydreams about related (or not) things. The hiring of these recent interns made me think back to the last one we had and how could I forget! I thought I'd never hire another one again.

We'll call him Jacob. He contacted my office in the winter of '04 I think. He sent me a sample portfolio and a resume, which both seemed decent enough to bring him in for an interview. So, he came in one morning with his work, seemed dressed nice and pleasant, and spent an hour or so with us telling his "story".

It started out with the usual conversation, meeting, greeting etc. We looked through his stuff which looked pretty good. We then scanned his resume and noticed a disparity of time and a noticably absent degree. Naturally this changed the direction of the interview a bit and sort of went like this...

Me - "...so then, what have you been doing since you graduated from school?"
Jacob - "Well, I..uh...never quite graduated...you see, um..well, ok I was dating this girl and things got really serious, but somehow things fell apart and that really messed me up. Then, well, my mom's boyfriend was poisoned with arsenic by his ex-girlfriend, but he didn't die, and he's laid up. Anyway, all this stuff really got to me and I quit school and basically have all my school work done, but have to make up 3 internships in order to graduate."
Me - stunned, "uh, ok"...
Jacob - "...you see man, I got real fucked up and lost sight of what was important and man, I realized I fuckin' love design and I've just got to get back into it."

I'm not sure what came over me at that point, but I just remember that we were shaking hands and I was telling him when he started. It's kind of a blur. You may be thinking to yourself, 'you actually hired him?!?, this kid sounds nuts!' Call me a softy, but I kind of felt for him. He seemed sincere and eager and frankly, I've always rooted for the little guy. In retrospect, maybe not the best idea, but he did make for some great stories to share. I'll begin with his first day...

Jacob shows up on a Monday bright and early and ring the doorbell to the office. I went to answer the door and I see him standing there with a monitor (looked like a 20" crt) in his hands and a rolling suitcase in tow behind him (he had run his belt through the retracting handle and was pulling it like a trailer). I let him in, showed him to his new desk and naturally had to ask what was the deal with the "stuff"? "Well, I wasn't sure if there was a computer to use here and...well...I live as a caretaker of my aunts house in the hills and i dont always go back there every night, it's kinda lonely. So, I usually bring all my stuff with me and I crash at friend's places". "Hmmmm" I say, "OK, well, we do have a PC AND and a monitor for you to use, so you dont have to bring that again. As for your suitcase, why not just leave it in your car?" "well, I have a Jeep, so I cant really leave my stuff in there because someone may slash the vinyl windows and rob me, but it's cool."

Jacob set up his workstation and all of his belonings, filled out some paperwork, got aqcuainted with the office and the design team and started his stay with us. At day's end he packed up all his things, and I mean ALL. He undid his belt and pulled it through the suitcase again, hoisted his huge monitor and asked for a hand with the door and the lift call button. I didn't mention that Jacob is a slight say 5'7" and about 10 stone (140lbs) at best.

An odd, yet strangely pleasing end (I get such joy from the little things in life) to a wierd day. Little did I know that it would be one of the more normal days of Jacob's brief employment.