Wild Game...

I have been MIA the last few days at a huge innovation workshop for my largest client. I cant even begin to describe how draining these things can be. From the prep work leading up to the workshops, the grueling 12 hour days of being "on" 100% of the time and the constant roller coaster ride of praise and/or disgust. We finally wrapped up this evening and I am so glad....and exhausted. And to think, I have to go back to the office for 2 more days yet! Brilliant!

The worst part is that I not only should have been in Chicago this week at a tradeshow (which means 2-3 hours at the show and the rest of the time at Barneys, Diesel and Prada), but I also received a call from my friend who is doing reconnaisance work in Paris for an impending move. The call was short and to the point and went somthing like this...

Friend - "hey, it's Cricket"
Me - "oh, hey, how are you guys?"
Friend - "Good, hey, we're staying a couple of extra days, can you watch our cat?"
Me - "Yeah, sure, no problem. When you coming back now?"
Friend - "Tuesday, I think. Oh, by the way, you should sell all your shit and move over here. My brother's looking at Smart cars while we speak."
Me - "Ok...(thinking to myself, god I wish I were there instead of at the beginning of the last day from hell)...See you then. We miss you guys."
Friend - "yeah, later."

That was it. He went back to continue his pan-Parisian adventure, while I sucked down the rest of my coffee as the clapping began to get day 3 started amid discussions of ALL the work that was still left to be done.

The day began rocky (as they often do during these sessions), but ended with me sipping several glasses of pinot noir and hob-nobbing with the CEO of the world's largest consumer products company. Very down to earth fellow.

Actually, I have known about this session for only two weeks and spent the better part of those 2 weeks preparing, coordinating the design of several research pieces, arranging caterers and prepping my team on the facilitation aspects. Just 2 weeks prior to that, I had a great idea about a new collection I wanted to start.

Somewhere amidst sorting out several hundreds of business cards in my office one day and trying to file these in a way that would make sense....to me, I had an idea. I've always thought of business cards as just a way to compare dick size or more likely a way to have a little piece of paper legitimize your floundering career. I often times think that a card should have more info than just your name and phone number. For several folks I've interfaced with over the years I could see it like this:

Joe Blow
Corporate Fuck (Less important than I think I am)
Company Cheap-Ass
Penis size: 4" (erect)
Salary: 75k plus bonus (in my dreams)
Car: Dodge Minivan

It could be like some sort of sports trading card, embellished by feats and stats or something. It was during one of these enlightening moments that I thought to myself about starting a collection of the business cards of global CEOs and other important leaders. The elite folks, not just average blokes. I want Steve Jobs, Sir Richard Branson, Bill Gates, et al. Now the act of swapping cards takes on a completely different meaning. I envisioned having these hung on my wall somewhere like some prized game trophy from Mozambique or something. "Yes, I wrangled that rare George Soros whilst trudging through the bush, barely avoiding a stampede of wildebeast in the jungle of San Diego. Actully, come to think of it now, I wonder if these guys even have business cards?

Anyway, knowing that today I would be coming face to face with a man who could have provided me my first piece of prized corporate memorabilia, I had been trying to envision the moment, like a sniper, mentally preparing for his next hit. Then the moment came, our hands intertwined in a business-like handshake (firm, yet approachable), and all I could do was say, "nice to meet you". I may as well have gone deer hunting with a trombone instead of a shotgun.

I've met several big-whigs over the years and in my experience, most of them want to be treated like anyone else. I also subscribe to the mindset of acting like you've been there before, meaning never be awestruck by another person. Remember, they likely still wipe their own asses every morning.

Nonetheless, I missed my big chance on that one. I still want my collection, but need to define a keen strategy that will aid me in my capture of that rare specimen I so covet, all while maintaining my dignity and keeping me from looking like some sort of asshole.