The Closing of a Crap Month

When I started this blog a few months back I had aspirations of posting daily. This was to be my tidier and lazier way of maintaining some creative form of self expression when I didn't feel like painting. I began slower than expected, but that wasn't surprising as I was still wrapping up several paintings for my art opening. I reviewed the first month and while not writing daily, I was ok with posting every 2-3 days. It was a start right? I'd get in my groove.

I continued and had a decent March even with wrapping up for my opening. My April was to be the first month of regular blogging, much to share I imagined. It started out ok and I had some good stuff here and there, but it just didn't work as planned. I had some high hopes for May too but all of that went to hell fast. Not only did I have a drop in quantity, but I had some sub-par writing as well. My apologies to my faithful readers (all 2 of you).

Seems that there is a direct correlation between a good month at the office and a crap month for my personal life. I have noticed that every month I have had, dating back almost 3 years, has on average been the busiest month of my career. I work at work, then I work on work at home and when I'm not working I'm either thinking about all the things that I should be working on or now even worse, I sneak peeks and replies on my Blackberry.

After a wretched weekend that began with having to redo the work of one of my designers, then spending several hours writing a proposal which a client just had to have urgently, and wrapping up with my wine fridge plummeting to 16*F ruining several bottles in my collection. I decided when I got home tomorrow I would not turn on my laptop and would do no work. Well, that backfired by me not being able to sleep thinking of all the work that I wasn't getting done. It wasn't even stress or anxiety, it was purely not being able to stop working. Is it a groove at that point or a rut? I'm still not sure.

I wish I had a way of going back and comparing say March of '04 to now. I imagine it was nowhere near as busy as it seemed at the time. I don't like to complain though, it's counter-productive and OCDs dont do that! My mother taught me when I was a boy that when you complain you are taking away any of your own power to do anything about your problem. I live by that everyday. She may have had something to say about stopping to smell roses or something too, but I was likely to busy to hear it.